From thoughts to words

Have you ever shared a problem with a friend and felt relieved as soon as the words were spoken or even managed to see that what seemed like an insurmountable hurdle as a more moderate challenge that you know you’ll be able to tackle?

I doubt we need scientific proof to explain that when we keep problems and worries bottled up inside, they seem much greater and darker the longer they remain in the context of our own perspective. Sometimes as soon as we give them life through words, for someone else’s point of view to take them in, they tend to reduce in size, and sometimes the scary monsters look more like disobedient pets. Although sometimes they still look as big and untamed but at least we know that by sharing them with someone who is close to us then some of the burden alleviates. Or maybe the burden is still there, but at least by witnessing their support and listening presence, we realise we are not alone, not judged or rejected for our issues.

The hardest part is admitting that something isn’t quite right, realising that we tend to spend longer looking at all the minuses of life as opposed to looking at the pluses. When everything becomes a subject to complain about, express self-pity, worry or even sarcasm, or when we no longer have the will to get out of bed in the morning. When we lose interest in the things that ones made our heart filled with light, when decisions like “what am I going to wear today” feel at the same time insignificant and impossible to make, when looking after ourselves feels like a chore and we barely have the energy to brush our teeth. Or even when you’re with friends and it’s almost like an out of body experience as you feel you are there physically but not truly there emotionally. There are many degrees of that feeling of “not quite right” which is in a way a form of mental health condition.

However it’s important to keep talking and to force yourself not to be alone To protect yourself from those demons and so you don’t try to tackle them on your own. So what, there are occasions when you used to be the light in the room for you friends and on this occasion you think have “nothing” to bring to the table? Or worse you’re afraid that you will bring them down?Actually, sometimes being the one that needs support gives your friends a reason to exist, a reason to forget their own worries so they can be there for you. Don’t deprive your friends of this support they can bring you. They won’t solve our problems but just being there and listening is enough.

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